5 years

IMG_0433Today is a big day for me. Today, five years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. 5 years is a significant number to those in remission. I can remember the feeling I had when I was given the ominous news, so out of the blue, how the room felt like it was spinning… I remember hearing I’d be losing my hair soon, among many other warnings and side affects, and I was so scared. I had so much anxiety and felt so much pain. I questioned my morality, & my future didn’t seem bright.

But it was then, at my absolute worst, when my immune system was completely depleted and my white blood cell count was .01, and I looked so sickly, pale, and bald, that I realized just how precious and beautiful I was. I realized how strong I was, and what my body was capable of. At the darkest time, I figured out that life really had so much light. It was my perception. And the people that loved me and that I loved also shared this perception. We cherished every moment that I felt good, and I smiled every day in a world where most couldn’t imagine smiling.

5 years seemed like it was so far away the day they told me that 5 years was the goal. I always wondered what I would be doing today, what I’d look like, where I’d be living, if I’d be back in the hospital, if anything bad would happen in between now and this day…

& the awesome news is

it’s December 5, 2012, I’m all clear…

and still smiling.


8 thoughts on “5 years

  1. who needs the hair when you’ve still got the dimples, the smile and the summer freckles. looking as good as ever

    1. You were as beautiful in that picture with your hair and without your hair! You have a wonderful giving sole and will be around for a very long time! There is so much good ahead for you to do! There is a quote that has always been dear to me “When you come to the end of all you know, there will be earth to stand on or you will be given wings to fly” You have used your wings to do such positive work for others! Keep doing what you are doing! You are an inspiration!

  2. Wow, this got me by suprise, I cannot physically relate to you but I can emotionally relate to you having had family members go thru this yet lost their battles, it’s nothing less than amazing and encouraging to hear of a person like you who has gone thru things out of ur control and survived its nothing more than inspirational how amazing the human body can be and I’m glad to know that thru everything you went thru which by that time I didn’t know you but luckly I now do, to say you have the brightest light surrounding you, there’s nothing bad anyone could ever say about you, you are too beautiful and ur smile can make anyone’s day, congratulations for making it 5 years I know ur time here is going a long way and you have great thing coming grrrrrrL that light dosnt shine for nothing lol mwaaa keep it up girl ur amazing lilynessers ❤

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