sparked

{ every now and then i suffer from anxiety. it’s frustrating for many reasons, but for one i can never seem to pin point what exactly causes it. what subconscious thought has sparked it… or what physical feeling, or condition ignites it. i have some theories… maybe lack of sleep, or overstimulation socially, or feeling stressed from work tasks. maybe it’s just being sensitive to alcohol/second hand smoke/other elements of the city/air pollution. it just seems to happen so out of the blue! or maybe it’s always there, just extremely buried. this afternoon i went from ending my work week on a strong note, being normal and smiling, taking in the sites, enjoying my walk, to having to cancel movie plans with a friend because i felt too anxious, out of breath, and overwhelmed. it’s rare, but i wish it were nonexistent. }

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{ i feel silly even venting about it. as i write i realize there is no real issue or problem in my life that i need to be anxious or concerned about, and there have been much darker times in my life full of legitimate concern and worry, sickness, and sadness. but it happens, and all i can really do is breathe through it. now, i am comfortable at home, candles lit and food network on. a nice green whole foods salad and a slice of their white pizza for dinner. things are looking up and calming down. #onlyhuman }

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3 thoughts on “sparked

  1. I completely understand this. I don’t think anxiety is rational though, so no matter how good things are, anxiety attacks can still happen. I think they might be more likely when things ARE good, because we’re finally settled down from our bad times. Anxiety is not fun though 😦

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